So. What did I miss?

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refuted his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred. to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. --And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

--The American People

"This was tried once before in America," Santorum writes. "But unlike abortion today, in most states even the slaveholder did not have the unlimited right to kill his slave."

Ironically, Santorum and his wife twice considered terminating her pregnancy as revealed in this 1997 article:

"Rick Santorum, a Republican, said that when he and his wife, Karen, discovered their fourth child had a potentially fatal defect, they thought about having an abortion. A few days later, corrective surgery on the child caused a life- threatening infection in Karen, after which they again considered and rejected abortion."

What's up with that, Ricky? A little bit of the old "Do as I say. Don't do as I do"?

While at this writing, there is no proof these attacks were the work of Al Qaeda, that's not stopping Bush or Blair from framing this horrible occurence to suit their cause.

Blair says the terrorists did it because they hate the G8. Bush says they hate our freedom. And some unheard-of group (Al-Qaeda Europe? WTF?) claims responsibility for the UK attacks on a website that's now offline.

What happened to We’re taking the fight to the terrorists abroad, so we don’t have to face them here at home...?

Shock! Horror! Where is my fainting couch?

Wishful thinking graphic below:

You were very sexy today when you pounded that snotty little, Scott McClellan with your forceful questions. I found you irresistible. Call me.

love,
Blogslut

UPDATE: Here's a fresh transcript straight from Raw Story.

Don't be a tease, you guys. Give it to me like you did the day before.

I'll do anything.

UPDATE: They did it again! Oh, White House Press Corps! You're the best!

Mind you, she's Mrs. Rove number two.

Reports claim that unlike the socialite first Mrs. Rove, Karl's current spouse actually worked for a living as a graphic artist. Now she's a happy homemaker.

If only Valerie Wilson had become a hausfrau.

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"I think it’s most helpful for me to not comment while that investigation continues." - White House Press Secretary: Scott McClellan

Then they laugh at you

"It's disappointing that once again, so many Democrat leaders are taking their political cues from the far-left, Moveon wing of the party." - RNC Chairman: Ken Mehlman

Then they fight you

"If you can prove a case against Karl Rove, let the legal system do it, otherwise just shut up, because you’re ruining a guy’s reputation before anything has happened." - Republican Senator: Lindsey Graham

"And I think people like Tim Russert and the others, who gave this guy such a free ride and all the media, they're the ones to be shot, not Karl Rove." - Republican Congressman: Peter King

Then you win.
-- Gandhi

Messrs. Colson, Ehrlichman, Haldeman and Hunt.

When a President wants to play dirty without actually getting dirty, he needs faithful men that will carry out his wishes by proxy. For President Richard M. Nixon, these were those men.

Charles Wendell Colson: Former Marine and Georgetown University graduate of law, Colson was Nixon's special counsel. He was also the idea man within the President's inner circle. It was Colson that came up with the idea to hire a bunch of goons (the Plumbers) to spy on and discredit people Nixon believed were enemies. When the Plumbers broke into the office of Daniel Ellsberg's psychiatrist, the mission was a Colson plan. Watergate was a Colson plan.

In 1974, Charles Colson pled no contest to a charge of obstruction of Justice for his part in the Ellsberg break-in. He served seven months and has since devoted himself to the only ones that will forgive him, Jesus Christ and convicted criminals.

John D. Ehrlichman: A World War II veteran and law school graduate, Ehrlichman had been working for the Nixon cause since 1960. When old Dick won in 1968, John became presidential advisor. When Daniel Ellsberg released the Pentagon Papers to the NYT, Ehrlichman was the man that gathered the team of tricksters assigned to thwart Ellsberg and any other threats to Nixon's re-election. Under Ehrlichman's direction, the Plumbers broke into the suite at the Watergate Hotel that housed the Democratic National Headquarters. The White House taping system was set up as a result of a suggestion by Ehrlichman.

On April 30, 1973, Ehrlichman resigned his White House position. In 1975, he was found guilty of perjury, conspiracy and obstruction of justice. He spent 18 months in prison. He later grew a beard, painted pictures and always resented the fact that Nixon did not give him a pardon. Ehrlichman died in 1999 at the age of 73.

Harry Robbins (H.R.) Haldeman: While attending UCLA in the 1940s, Haldeman began a long-standing friendship with fellow student John Ehrlichman. Haldeman met Nixon in the fifties . It was Haldeman that ran the President's successful 1968 campaign. Haldeman was Nixon's Chief of Staff and he and Ehrlichman insulated the President so well the two were referred to as "The Berlin Wall". More importantly, Haldeman was Dick's closest confidant and advisor. The conversations Nixon had with Haldeman (minus 18 minutes) were the most damaging evidence in the Watergate Tapes. Nixon knew about the Plumbers, Watergate and the cover-up because Haldeman told him personally.

Along with his college buddy Ehrlichman, Haldeman tendered his resignation April 30, 1973. John Dean was fired that same day. Like Ehrlichman, Haldeman served 18 months in prison for charges of obstruction of justice and conspiracy. Unlike Ehrlichman, Haldeman felt responsible for fucking up the reputation of the office of President of the United States and wrote as much in his book, "The Ends of Power". He died of stomach cancer in 1993.

Everette Howard Hunt: Haldeman was the relay man. Colson concocted the dirty tricks. Ehrlichman found the money and the operatives. E. Howard Hunt was the man with the dirty hands. An OSS officer in WWII. CIA man from 1949-1970. Howard was an honest-to-goodness spook and along with Gordon Liddy, ran the Plumbers. He led the break-in of Ellsberg's psychiatrist's office and it was Hunt's phone number that was found among the possessions of two of the Watergate burglars. Conspiracy theorists love to cite Hunt as their choice for mythical second gunman in the Kennedy assassination cover-up.

Hunt's wife died -with $10,000 in her pocketbook- in a plane crash on December 8, 1972. On 30 Jan 1973, he pled guilty to charges of wiretapping, burglary and conspiracy. He served 33 months in prison. Over the course of his life, Hunt has written several spy novels. In 1995, he declared bankruptcy. Today, the 87-year-old lives quietly in Florida.

Who is our modern-day counterpart to all these President's men?

Karl Rove

white house credibility problem

Even the WSJ has bad news for Karl and Scooter and Dick and George and Condi and oh, just so many people.

Yeah. He sucks.

This was a bullshit appointment designed to take the heat off fat Karl. How can we take Dubya seriously when he pulls this kind of boneheaded shit?

Don't worry children. Karl-gate isn't over. He's in the rotation now.

What's this I hear? John G. Robert's wife is a feminist? Not a feminist? Might be a desk jockey? Might be Executive Vice President of Feminists For Life?

Who are the Feminists For Life? Well, I can tell you - on double super secret background - they're aren't an historical society. I'll let their button do the talking:

Oops. I've said too much.

The 18 1/2 Minute Gap

It's ironic that a little bit of nothing turned out to be such a big something.

In 1971, President Richard M. Nixon was a little worried about his chances for re-election. A fellow named Daniel Ellsberg had confiscated and copied a bunch of documents from the days when he worked at the Rand Corporation. Those documents made clear that our leaders in the US government and military branches viewed the Vietnam Conflict as a sham and a failure. Ellsberg gave these documents - called "The Pentagon Papers" - to the New York Times. This insider leak was the basis for why the Nixon Whitehouse began its campaign of dirty tricks against its "enemies".

1971 was also the year the White House installed a bugging system in the Oval Office.

From the Watergate break-in in 1972 and all the way through the indictments, trials and testimony of the players in this scandal, none could provide any hard proof that Nixon knew anything about the criminal activites of his trusted men. Everyone was questioned, that is, except for a guy named Alexander Butterfield. During his July 17, 1973 Senate testimony, Butterfield casually told the panel that Nixon had been secretly recording conversations for years. Almost no one knew about the taping system, not even John Dean.

Those wishing to give Nixon a chance to exonerate himself thought the audio would surely clear the President of any wrong doing. The tapes were subpoenaed and Nixon fought their release for a solid year under the aupices of "executive privilege". When the recordings were finally released one tape contained an 18 1/2 minute gap.

Naturally, the gap became a major issue. Ever-faithful Nixon secretary, Rosemary Woods took the blame for the gap and gave a demonstration on how she accidentally pushed the erase button during a telephone conversation. But it was too late. Nixon was screwed.

Present-day counterpart for the 18 1/2 Minute Gap?

Alberto Gonzales' 12 Hour Gap:

This is:

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I just pointed out -- because what you can do from those stem cells that are available is derive additional lines. And that's why I pointed out that there's 600-some lines that are already being used right now. There are an additional 3,000 more that are going to be available for this kind of research. The fact of the matter is, we're still in the early stages of the research.

Now I want to back up, because I do think it's important to talk about the accomplishments. Maybe you don't want to talk about it, because a number of people in the media were saying just two months ago --

Q Don't start with that.

MR. McCLELLAN: No, let's start with that.

Q Don't take me on like I don't want to talk about it. That's ridiculous. You want to make your statement, make your statement. I was asking you a specific question on a specific issue, and don't try to turn this into a screed about the media.

MR. McCLELLAN: Then don't make a broad statement, like you did.

Q I corrected myself. I meant on this issue.

MR. McCLELLAN: Of course you don't want to talk about it, because you don't want the American people to hear about the great progress that we're making on the legislative front.

Q I thought I heard your opening statement pretty clearly.

MR. McCLELLAN: I'm sure you'll be reporting on it later tonight.

Q Watch the broadcast tomorrow.

Meow.

1796 ¸ 29 = 61.93103448276